theHword.com

I want to first start off and say that I am NOT a writer.  I am using this blog as self-therapy and am hoping to get some great advice back from you, the readers, as I go through the senior year of my oldest child.  Here’s a little about myself, my name is Mikki Shafer and I am married to the most wonderful man, Jason Shafer.  In January, we will celebrate our 18^th wedding anniversary.  We have three children, Adam, a senior at Sandy Creek, Kaleb a sophomore at Sandy Creek and Jalyn a 7^th grader also at Sandy Creek.

Jason and I were only 20 when we had Adam and ever since that day April 2, 1995 my entire world has revolved around my husband and kids. I knew that someday Adam would have to graduate and go off to college but it always seemed so far away.  Well that far away is here and NOW.

This week I took Adam to get his last high school sports physical and when we were in the doctor’s office our doctor asked Adam how he was, Adam replied fine, you know the typical teenage boy response.   Then our doctor looked at me and asked how I was handling it; I told him that I would probably need to see him in a few months to get medicated for either anxiety or depression.  The Doctor just laughed and asked Adam what his plans for after school were.  Adam replied that he is looking at going to school for engineering.  The doctor responded with enthusiasm for UNL’s engineering program.  He then asked what engineering field Adam wanted to go into and Adam said Aero-Space.  The Doctor looked at me and said they don’t offer Aero-Space at UNL.  I said I know he is looking at KU. I then started to tear-up. He said so you weren’t kidding when you said you needed to get medicated.  I could only nod NO.  As the doctor continued to talk with Adam I was thinking to myself where in the world did that come from? Is this how it’s going to be every time someone asks me about his future plans?  If I can’t talk about it now without crying and I still have him for the next year, what is next year going to be like when he is really gone?

So, my question is:  How do you help your child pursue their dreams when it is killing you inside?  I don’t want Adam to not go to a college just because I feel that it is too far away from me.  As every parent does, I just want him to be happy in life and I am sure that will mean moving away from me.  I am just a little afraid that if I show him I am scared for him that he might change his mind and stay closer to home and not go into the field that he actually wants.

His senior pictures are scheduled for July 17^th, I am sure that will be my next chapter in this so very short book.

About the author: Mikki Shafer

Mikki moved to Hastings in 1993 to attend Central Community College where she received her associate’s degree in Hotel/Motel Restaurant Management. While in college she met Jason Shafer and they were married in 1995. Mikki works for the Hastings Area Chamber of Commerce as the Membership Coordinator. Mikki is the mother of three children Adam -17, Kaleb - 15 and Jalyn - 12.